Deductions of Disney
by YoungestThunderbird
Summary: Sherlock and John watch Disney- apparently Sherlock never has before. Explains a lot really. Also, they manage to unofficially adopt a dog. Lestrade looks on in bemusement. The rest of Scotland Yard look on in terror.


John was watching a Disney movie when Sherlock, who was bored, decided to join in. Apparently the Holmes boys weren't allowed to watch them as children, which John found explained a lot. Seizing the opportunity to keep Sherlock busy, he decided to show the great movies in chronological order.

 _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_ : John was suspicious of the apples that kept appearing around the apartment for a week, even more so when Sherlock was found fiddling with a syringe marked C19H21N3O. He promptly threw all of them into the bin. Sherlock sulked before feeding one to Donovan and making Anderson do CPR on her.

 _Pinocchio_ : Sherlock insisted on calling John Jimmy for the week. John retaliated by buying a long wooden dowel and gluing it to Sherlock's nose. Lestrade was amused. Anderson and Donovan made sly comments. John glued tails and donkey ears to them as revenge. Lestrade took pictures and separated the three of them.

 _Fantasia_ : For weeks, John was kept up by the songs until he had each beat memorized. It was still better than the screeches Sherlock liked to coax out of his violin.

 _Dumbo_ : Sherlock maintained that the entire movie was scientifically impossible. That didn't stop him from attaching a large pair of cloth ears to a stray dog he found and almost throwing him off the roof until John intervened. Sherlock protested that he had prepared adequate cushioning for the landing, in the form of his mattress, but John stood firm.

 _Bambi_ : Sherlock pretended not to cry at the death of Bambi's mother and John decided not to mention it. However, when a serial killer who treated his victims like wild game came up, Sherlock was especially vengeful.

 _The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad_ : Sherlock didn't make it through five minutes. John only made it a half an hour.

 _Cinderel'la_ : Sherlock protested the impossibility of finding a certain person by the fit of their shoe, and glared at John when he said that that was what Sherlock did. He then spent the rest of the week with an old sneaker, making everybody try it on and compare fits, and showed John a comprehensive list of exactly how many people had the same fit. Apparently Lestrade and Raz had the same shoe size. Lestrade woke up one morning to find a pair of dirty loafers with paint on them where his shoes were. Sherlock eventually did give his shoes back, but it was a close thing.

 _Alice in Wonderland_ : John skipped this one. It reminded him too much of an acid trip to be safe near Sherlock. No need to give Lestrade and company excuses, after all. The last drugs bust had almost broken his gran's beagle figurine.

 _Peter Pan_ : Sherlock was skeptical of the physics of it all to say the least. And he was aghast at the portrayal of the Indians. His favorite character was Captain Hook, and he and John each wore red and green respectively the next week and had knife and sword fights because they were bored. Lestrade was Smee. Somehow, the stray dog who had begun to hang around the flat after being fed by John in an apology over the Dumbo Incedent, became Tinkerbell. John tied a bell around his neck and everything.

 _Lady and the Tramp_ : John wasn't sure they should watch this one, as it was a romance, but Sherlock enjoyed it nonetheless. The not-quite-stray dog bemusedly found itself with spaghetti for dinner one night.

 _Sleeping Beauty_ : A spinning wheel appeared in the apartment. John steered clear and sent a sample of the goo he found on he spindle to the hospital lab.

 _One Hundred and One Dalmatians_ : The next time Sally came onto the crime scene, John began to hum "Cruella de Vil" under his breath. Sherlock started to sing, and soon they had a duet. Anderson was stupefied, while Sally just ignored them. Lestrade brought a fur coat for Sally the next time they were on site. Sherlock kept a close eye on her around the dog.

 _The Jungle Book_ : Sherlock's favorite character was Bagheera, but he was not pleased with the difference between the book and the movie. He said that it was a passable animation though.

 _The Aristocats_ : Sherlock had to be quickly dissuaded from stomping the floor hard enough to send it falling to the floor below. Mrs. Hudson was grateful. John loved the Jazz and got out an old tapedeck and tapes which he had recorded his grandfather's jazz records on. Mrs. Hudson, having been called up by all the noise of Sherlock stamping through the floor, danced with them for a little bit, then left with a parting "I'm your landlady, not your sweetheart, dears."

 _Robin Hood_ : John had loved this one growing up. It was still his favorite. Sherlock serenaded Anderson with "Long Live Prince John" next time they saw him. John did nothing to dissuade them. They did argue over which of them was Robin Hood and which of them was Little John though. "Sherlock! You're taller and I'm a better shot! It's obvious!" "Ah, but Robin Hood outwitted the Sheriff while Little John provided cover!"

 _The Rescuers_ : Lestrade joined them for this one, as he happened to to her them talking about their movies and offered them his copy. It was his favorite, as it represented a hopeful side to the "little girl lost in swamp with alligators" scenario, something he was familiar with, unfortunately. Sherlock spent the rest of the month looking for a small hangar on the roofs of London buildings.

 _The Little Mermaid_ : This was not John or Sherlock's favorite, as Sherlock spoiled the ending of the book and was repulsed by the saccharine sweetness of it all. However, John did find some research on his laptop about mermaids.

 _Beauty and the Beast_ : Sherlock made it through the movie and started looking tip to medical conditions that can produce a beast-like effect. "Lycanthropy, John! People actually think that they are werewolves!" Brown growled at them both for an hour after Sherlock tried to extract a genetic staple from him.

 _Aladdin_ : Raz gave them this one. He identified with Aladdin, a mischievous criminal. John thought the genie was the best character, while Sherlock thought him to be overbearing and preferred Jafar. They went to Lestrade to break the tie, and he picked the Sultan instead and told the two of them to work it out. Mrs. Hudson made Brown, which was the name of the dog for lack of a better one, a cute little vest like Abu's.

 _The Lion King_ : Apparently, Mufasa apparently reminded Sherlock of his father, whom he was close with but who died when Sherlock was young. John pretended not to see him crying.

 _Pocahontas_ : John Smith was relentlessly criticized for his intolerance, and even compared to Anderson at one point. Pocahontas, on the other hand, was criticized for her naivety. Sherlock only really liked Powhatan, but he criticized him for being so politically insensitive. "Even I can understand that killing a white man would start war!"

 _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_ : Sherlock was very quiet throughout the movie. John took to humming "God Help the Outcasts" to remind him of how God had let him live, and Sherlock just listened silently. John believes that the movie reminded Sherlock of how he was treated when he was little by his mother. Sherlock privately agrees, but mostly Esemeralda reminded him of John, without the singing and dancing.

 _Mulan_ : Sally marched up to them in a crime scene and shoved the copy into their hands, saying that if they were watching Disney, they should watch the best. Apparently it inspired her as a child, and started the police academy with the nickname Mulan. "Where else do you see minority women as empowered in Disney?" she asked Inspector Lestrade when he came to her about it.

 _Tarzan_ : Sherlock was bored throughout the entire movie and spoke in nothing but ape sounds for the rest of the day. He hugely criticized the fact that Tarzan had an American accent while everyone else had an English one. John put on a safari hat the next time Sherlock went to a crime scene. SI Lestrade looked on amused until he was shoved into one too.

 _Lilo & Stitch_: John kept a close watch on any experiments conducted around the flat for the next month. Brown, who took everything with dignity, was painted blue, but that was about it.

 _The Princess and the Frog_ : Sherlock was repulsed by the illogicality of the whole thing. John was merely wary of the voodoo. It had not been so long since the Wisteria Lodge debacle.

 _Tangled_ : The apartment became covered with ropes and twine made of human hair. After John mentioned that the Native American Indians used horsehair ropes and bridles, Sherlock went out and bought an entire bushel of the stuff to run comparative experiments on. John took to carrying frying pans to crime scenes to help Lestrade avoid having to lie about his gun. Two frying pans were left out for Brown to eat and drink out of.

 _Wreck-It Ralph_ : Sherlock tried to make an artificial intelligence out of an old gameboy. John made sure the intelligence didn't get too intelligent and made absolutely sure it didn't connect to the Internet. He wanted to ensure Sherlock didn't invent Skynet.

 _Frozen_ : Sherlock immediately connected Elsa to Mycroft and played a ten-hour loop of "Let It Go" in the flat to torture anyone who was watching through the cameras. He and John giggled like children as they left. When they came back, "Reindeers Are Better Than People" played and there was fake snow all over the flat. Brown was covered in it and had a pair of antlers on top of his head. He looked miserable. Sherlock vowed revenge.

 _Big Hero 6_ : Sherlock was fascinated by the laser blades Wasabi employed. John was terrified. Mycroft, the smug b******, looked on in amusement, and Lestrade made sure that none of Scotland Yard's laser tech was let out to anyone over four feet tall for a week. Nonetheless, he tried to get them to check it out to Brown. The tech was skeptical at best and refused.

*C19H21N3O is the chemical formula for a sleeping pill.

*Gordon Brown was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom until 2010, when Sherlock first aired. Since previous dogs Sherlock Holmes owned in the book series were named after contemporary prime ministers, I decided to do the same thing.


End file.
